i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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