Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
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