I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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