she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
