Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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