Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
