whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize