I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
