Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just gift wrapped bread.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
