he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
