When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
