fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
