Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

So, how was the dinner

(1-406): View more from Montana

Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.

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(419): View more from Ohio

You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?

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(620): View more from Kansas

Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...

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(618): View more from Illinois

Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all

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(714): View more from California

We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.

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(602): View more from Arizona

The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.

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