conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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