Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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