Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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