i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
