maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
