it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
