Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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