He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
