i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
