you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize