More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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