Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
