Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Vodka?
Forever.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize