If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
