Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
