people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
