Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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