we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my shit smells like andre
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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