Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize