I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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