I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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