just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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