she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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