dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
