go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
