he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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