im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize