Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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