i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
