508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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