Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
