Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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