omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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