she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize