i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
