Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
