operation harelip BJ is a go
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
