you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
