i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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