Have you finally orgasmed yet?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
NoShamevember. You game?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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