Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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