Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
