Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
