I look better un-naked...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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