so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
