We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
