we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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