saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize