piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Your dad touched me again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
