Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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