uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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