careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
