Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
