When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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