I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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